Relationship killer things just didn’t start in marriage, it started way back in dating, which couples pay little or no attention to in courtship.
That you are enjoying your marriage or relationship does not mean you shouldn’t leave room for issues. Marriage is so complicated that it could turn sideways without notice.
That your marriage is going smoothly does not mean you know how to spice your marriage enough. Things are actually working as planned because relationship killer issues have not surfaced.
Relationship Killer Issues To Be Solved
One major fact to pay attention to is that, couples can not run away nor avoid relationship issues. Issues in marriage can only pend for a while but not too long, that is why it is important to know these relationship killers early enough in or before marriage.
1. Depending on our parents: Many people kill their relationship by depending on their parents for support, advice, or marital counselling. You have to note that your parents aren’t your best adviser or issue resolver when it comes to marriage.
Though, there is nothing bad in taking advice from your parents but should be very limited in marriage. – Your best adviser, issue resolver is your partner or go for marriage counselling.
2. Self esteem: Dating a person that kills your self esteem is a wrong choice, but if you love em, you can let your partner know low self esteem is a relationship killer. What is the essence of a relationship when your partner is feeling at the top of the world, happy and free while leaving you moody, sad and isolated. That’s crap.
3. Gender equality: A relationship that does not accommodate gender equality in courtship before or after marriage is a killer relationship, it’s nothing but a slave and master relationship. Promoting gender equality in a relationship is promoting love.
4. Sharing responsibilities: Though it is generally accepted that men have higher responsibility to carry, but that doesn’t say a woman can not support to the best of her ability.
In fact according to pewresearch ‘there is a great reasonable tendency that woman would take more responsibility in marriage, provided she earns more and based on understanding and agreement.’
5. Genotype: I have seen homes, healthy relationships and marriages being destroyed due to genotype incompatibility. Risking genotype is like risking your marriage and the lives of your innocent children.
Ignorance in checking and admitting to genotype results is a relationship killer you need to avoid. – Or else you end up nursing pain and regrets for a lifetime.
6. Past relationship experience: One thing that quickly kills marriage is when partners fail to let go of past relationship experiences. Carrying those mindset into marriage will never make you enjoy your partner or will your partner enjoy good moments with you, as your past will keep hunting you down emotionally if you do not let go of it. You might end up losing your marriage if careless.
7. Marriage vision: Lack of vision in marriage is a relationship killer couples need to pay close attention to. Before you end up in marriage, take some time to look inward at the future goal, try to check if you share the same or similar vision. Couples with different visions most times end up in different homes at the end.
8. Addiction to drugs: No responsible person will like to marry a drug addict because they know that even when the result shows up it can never be productive.
Many people who dip their heads into this kind of killer relationship, do so with the hope their partner will have a change of heart which is not assured.
9. Sex Addiction: Be it you or your partner being a sex addict, it is advisable to then prepare for a long time battle in marriage. Because it will get to a time that one of you will resist which then automatically becomes a problem you may not be able to resolve.
10. Battering: In no circumstances should you think of getting married to a man or woman who beats you. Battering is a relationship killer, no doubt about it. Only if you enjoy getting the beating of your life should you go ahead and marry such a person.
11. Introduction of third parties: The moment your relationship issues start getting to the third party, then it will get to the wrong hands. By this time, have it in mind that your relationship values have already started to depreciate. Introducing third parties into relationship issues is a killer. Learn to solve every dispute within yourself amicably.
12. Wife/Husband slavery: In the 70’s to 90’s, most men see a woman as slaves, more of a helper than a companion. Now that we are in the 21st century, a good relationship is based on intimacy, where a woman sees her man more like a best friend, a brother and father rather than a master or god.
13. Love of Children over relationship: If you have the mindset, then it is best to take it off you before it ruins your marriage. This should in no way affect the love couples share. Not being able to manage the love of children over partner is a relationship killer that has ruined so many happy homes.
14. Self exposure: So many people believe couples should know everything about themselves, but this should not be the case, as far as we are human we are bound to change.
Nevertheless, you should keep in mind that letting your spouse know everything about you is one of many other things that quickly ruin a relationship.
15. Temperament: One of the reasons why many people are finding it hard to find the right spouse is because they are temperamental, while their lovers do not know how to handle a temperamental partner. Temperament is a relationship killer that makes people run from a temperamental person because they know they can’t handle them.
16. Poor religion mindset: If a person lets spirituality take over their come sense or reasoning then there’s a problem. Making religion superior to your marriage is a relationship killer, giving your religious leader audience more than your spouse is a threat to your relationship. Being devoted to your religion without good moral conduct is a waste of time.
17. Flirt/Cheating: Spread the word, Stop cheating, stop flirting around it does not pay. Cheating is a relationship killer, many couples get to know this the hard way when their marriage is destroyed by things that aren’t worth it.
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