Faults might come from either side, as couples sometimes lack knowledge of what could damage their relationship while seeing no fault in their actions, until it causes great problems to marriage.
These are common issues that could easily be resolved in marriage before it escalates into becoming a serious problem.
Simple issues that could be resolved in marriages have broken so many healthy marriages, leading other marriages to divorce as couples pay little or no attention to the common marriage problems.
1. Negligence: The act of not counting things as being important, giving less attention and value to a thing, is an act of negligence. Negligence serves as a common issue in marriage that most couples do not take seriously until it at the end leads the marriage into divorce.
Being conscious and paying more attention to everything in marriage can help avert disaster. Doing away with negligence can help shield a marriage.
2. Anxiety: Expecting too much, and settling for less is another common issue in marriage which has to be addressed. When you expect too much but settle for too little, this could damage a marriage. Putting too much hope on a thing is not a good idea for a healthy relationship. That does not mean you should settle for less but always try to be more considerate.
3. Insecurity: When a woman feels insecure or less protected, it could become a problem in a relationship. Some men do not see this as a common problem in marriage until they fall victims of this before they realise. Women need a man that can be there to protect and guide them physically, mentally and emotionally.
4. Financial crises: Another common problem in marriage that couples overlook is the issue of money. As it is said, ‘money makes the world go round’; yet, the Bible stated that, the love of money is the root of all evil. When a marriage fails to know how to handle financial crises, it could easily lose its value.
5. Incompetence: Before you go into a relationship, before dating leads to courtship and courtship to marriage, if you fail to know the level of your spouse competence, then you might have to face some issues in marriage. A partner who fails to know hisher duty in a marriage will always make a relationship frustrating.
This is why knowing the vital things in a relationship are very important before marriage. Courtship is a time to know the in-depth of your spouse’s behaviour and not the time for fun alone.
6. Time: Lack of time in marriage is another common issue. Your job should not be superior to your marriage. Give your partner the time they need so as to prevent your partner from being another person’s side-chick.
7. Communication: When marriage lacks time, then communication is impossible; and a relationship without communication is nothing but a dead relationship. Less communication gives a marriage less value. Constant communication is important to avoid issues that touch. Because the moment someone jobless gets to know your spouse outside of your marriage and starts communicating more than you do, you might eventually lose your marriage.
8. Apology: Failure to say sorry in marriage as a man or woman is equal to pride. Apologizing in a relationship is a way to overcome issues in marriage. There are common issues that can easily be resolved in marriage before it escalates itself to become a serious problem. Saying sorry can create peace to a marriage, but if couples neglect the importance of apologizing, it could cause serious damage to a relationship.
9. Gender equality: What a man can do, a woman can as well do better in marriage. Couples are of the mindset that the work of a man is different from a woman in marriage, but there is no rule that says a man should not assist or help his woman when needed, even on domestic works; but many couples do not understand this.
Instead, they believe there is a specific work meant for the man and the woman. This is not true. To create peace in your home as couples, you need to help each other. A woman can pay the bills and the man can as well do the domestic work at home. There should be no pride or shame in it as you are meant to assist each other. Do not wait until gender differences become an issue in marriage.
10. Sex differences: We are not created equally, so we are imperfect as humans. This imperfection brings about the limitations in every human which could lead to sexual differences between couples. Sexual difference has long been a common issue in marriage which has to be addressed.
Individual urge for sex, as couples, will always be different due to reason stated, according to sciencedirect. Couples have to understand that our bodies and urges are different, and taking our time to understand our partner and helping each other to find solutions to sexual life as couples, could help improve a marriage. Having a deep talk on this and helping each other is the best way to find peace, not blaming each other. Blaming will not solve a thing but lead to more problems.
11. Infidelity: Stand on your word and make sure your spouse meets you by the truth always. As couples you have to learn to be open to each other. Let your ‘Yes’, be ‘Yes’; and ‘No’, be ‘No’.
12. Grow apart: It’s easier to single-handedly destroy a marriage; but it takes hard work coupled with grace to make a come-back. If you value your marriage, learn not to make your home grow apart; but if it has or notice it has, then fixing a marriage to its normal state when couples grow separate ways could help.
13. Childbirth: Many couples do not know that there are stages in a relationship. It does not stop at dating, courting, and marriage but it advances from being couples, which consist of two people mainly the husband and wife, to becoming a family which includes children.
Marriage after a baby could easily become a problem. This is because husband and wife still see themselves as couples rather than family. This mindset needs to be erased as it could cause more problems in marriage. Finding a fix to issues in marriage after having a baby could help.
14. Child control: After childbirth, the issue of child control could arise as children could cause a bit of distraction to couples. Sometimes, it may not make couples enjoy their marriage as what is meant for two is now for three and even more.
This is a common issue among new couples who have not really experienced child bearing or control. To avoid issues in a relationship, new couples need to take their time on their children. healthychildren stated ways on how to discipline a child, while working hand in hand to find the best practice and as well go for counselling if necessary.
15. Child handling and preference: Another common problem in marriage is child preference – where a father prefers one child more than the other, and the mother as well chooses to favour one child than the other. All these systems are not healthy for a successful marriage; instead, love your children the way they are and stop child preference. That child you think might not be productive could be the pillar of the house in the future.
The issue of child preference has led so many marriages into disaster, when a child becomes more important to the father and not to the mother; then it could become a problem in marriage. Remember the end of Esau and Jacob?
16. In-law Induction: There are situations where mother-in-law, father-in-law or other relatives could be a problem in couples life. When relatives pay a visit to couples, this could bring up unnecessary arguments between couples, as there may be lack of freedom and privacy in marriage. This can also lead marriages into frustration as both couples try to satisfy the in-laws against their marriage.
Though, it is not wise to say that in-laws should not come to pay a visit, but it should be for a very short period of time; and both partners must come to an agreement on this so as to please each other and not to create issues in marriage.
However, when in-laws interference in a marriage could cause obstruction and lead a marriage into chaos, it is better to come into agreement as couples, before accepting any form of visitations.
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