Married But Not Ready:
Sometimes relationships can be frustrating while we ask ourselves why we are facing so many challenges especially when we are truly in love with our lover.
One of the most challenging parts in a relationship is when our lover is ready to get married and we are not ready. One of our readers lament that he is not ready for marriage while his girlfriend is getting married.
At first this might sound like a joke if your girlfriend whom you believed to understand you better especially when you have both spent a lot of time together wakes up on a morning and suddenly tell you she is getting married, I bet you will tell her she should go back to sleep because that was an expensive joke.
Well, it seems not to be a joke because in life we should always be preparing for the bad days and this also goes down to our relationships. However, it is true that there is always not a good day as time comes into play.
So, when we have a good and smooth relationship and everything seems to go well, it does not mean that we should not prepare for the worse. Our spouse may decide to ask our hand in marriage when we aren’t ready.
If our girlfriend is ready to get married and we are not ready, it does not mean that we should panic.
Sometimes, things like this happen, and there might be reasons to why she chooses to make her decision:
1. Age Barrier: The basic and major reason why ladies forcefully pressurize guys for marriage is because of age differences. Age barrier is one strong influencer on why most ladies pushes strongly for marriage, and when a man does not make an attempt to ask her hand in marriage, the lady then ask herself because she believes there is no time on her side.
Men have enough time to plan and strategize for years before marriage as most men marry in their thirty’s and forty’s but this does not apply to ladies because it will surely affect their relationship lifestyle and parental stage in marriage. Menopausestands as a great concern for ladies, and here are some of the symptoms in menopause ladies must take note of.
2. Right time: Apart from age barrier, a girlfriend might also feel a particular time is the right time, when a man has the resources to take care of a family then why not marry? This may be the question that pops up through her mind.
A man who is financially and in all ramifications stable to handle a relationship can get married but men could be sometimes more reserved and more calculative rather than assumption, most men who are serious know what they are capable of and how they want their homes to look like, so a lady who thinks a man is ready may not see it the right way.
3. Level of seriousness: Sometimes a man’s level of seriousness could dictate and determine when he is ready. Ladies are most times good at prediction in this aspect, most times when they see a man’s level of seriousness it triggers their mindset to believe that the man is ready but not willing.
What You Should Do When Your Girlfriend Is Ready For Marriage And You Are Not:
4. Work it Out: If you are a serious man who is ready for a relationship that could lead to marriage and not a flirt who plays around fooling ladies, you should have a good time with your girlfriend, sit her down and let her understand the nature of things, the situation at hand and work things out amicably with great patience.
5. Be Open: let her understand your weakness and strength and why you are not ready for marriage, let her know your financial capability and how financially buoyant you are, let her know what is at stake if you eventually get married.
6. Responsibility: Make her know that it is your responsibility as a man to engage her or ask her hand out in marriage, and let her know you do not wish to blame her for anything because you understand her feelings.
7. Hope: Guarantee her and assure her of safety in the present relationship, make her feel safe and secure, build confidence in her and make are believe everything will be fine.
Do not promise what you can not fulfill, so you will not waste her time as you build your own future. Be plain and be specific, act like a man as you show a sign of confidence to saying the truth.
The truth is quite hard to say and to believe, but still saying the truth opens easy way for new opportunities, so don’t hold her down if you can not work things out into marriage, instead let her move on with life.